Thursday, March 18, 2010

Crimes Against Food?

Pork Cutlet Pizza

There are some things in the world that are taboo: certain behaviours, actions, thoughts or ideals that society shuns and dares not speak of. Today I saw something which goes beyond the boundaries of a normal ethical society; today I saw something that chilled my blood and sent shivers down my spine; today I saw the pork cutlet pizza.

Pork Cutlet Pizza

At Pizza DONS, where the salad bar is always full and the soft drinks always have unlimited refills, is where I saw this crime against cuisine.

At first look these black shelves seem to be stocked with rather generously sized pizzas, but if we take a closer look we find something much more sinister...

Pork Cutlet Pizza

Behold the "Salmon fresh garden", delicious slices of salmon tossed gently with fresh cherry tomatoes, lettuce and spinach leaves, served on a bed of what can only be described as cheese and tomato sauce topped deep fried pork...

Pork Cutlet Pizza

Then we have the "Seafood deluxe", only the tastiest prawns, mushrooms and peppers are bathed in a white mayonnaise like substance and then arranged artfully on a bed of cheese and tomato sauce topped deep fried pork.

Pork Cutlet Pizza

On a lower shelf we are confronted with the "Hawwaiian fruits" which has the well recognized combination of mustardcress, pineapple, bacon, almond slices and cherry tomatoes; once again decorated with a lattice work of white gloop and served (and I can't quite believe I'm writing this) on a bed of cheese and tomato sauce topped deep fried pork...

I love deep fried pork. I love nothing more than tucking into some delicate slices of deep fried pork tenderloin accompanied with a light miso broth and a bowl of fluffy white rice. I love the crispy chewy nuggets of fatty porcine goodness that tickle my tastebuds and send me to deep fried nirvana, but a pork cutlet pizza is taking things a step too far. The Full English Breakfast is referred to as a heart attack on a plate by some, but the meals served at Pizza DONS seem more like a slight case of angina, followed by a heart attack, a myocardial rupture and then a slow and painful death.

Pork Cutlet Pizza

I'm not sure why anyone would choose to eat there, but I'd love to hear from you if you have. Is there appeal to the deep fried pork cutlet pizza? Am I alone in thinking this to be a crime against food and a possible health risk? Has anyone eaten there and survived to tell the tale?

Take care dear readers and beware the siren call of the pork cutlet pizza...

4 comments:

ZenKimchi said...

It's been on my list of places to try--just for the photos.

Paul Ajosshi said...

Do it Joe, do it for the Korean Food Blog Community! Someone needs to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Roboseyo said...

I just threw up in my mouth.

Foreigner Joy said...

Imagine living off this stuff than visiting the States and not finding it anywhere. Poor traveling Korean folk.